The Cake Is Pie!
by Pitifull-Smile
Summary: The first chapter being a theory I have on the cake being a pie, the rest of the chaps are just my way of speaking as GLaDOS and what she might think of her comments throughout the game. I actually think I have GLaDOS's way of speaking down pretty well.
1. Chapter 1

This in my theory on the cake. I'm not saying I'm right nor am I saying I'm wrong. I know that the pastry at the end of the game looks like a cake very much, but I like to keep my horizons broad. So let's just say, for the sake of the story, that ending scene in the game never happened where you see a cake.

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My Pie theory with the cake actually works. Cause with GLaDOS, she is always saying "you will get cake" or something along those lines. And then the walls are always saying in blood "the cake is a lie".

So here's how "the cake is a pie" works. What if GLaDOS just thought the cake is indeed cake, but is unknowing to her, a pie? Only the ones who wrote on the wall knew this 'cake' is a pie. So when they are writing on the walls "the cake is a lie" they are actually saying "the cake is not a cake but a pie." Thus coming out as "the cake is a lie", which is technically true. It is not cake, therefore a lie in what GLaDOS says about it being a cake.

So in the end, there was a cake that was in reality a pie. GLaDOS just failed to ever notice this cake/pie difference before her murder.

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Review's are appreciated^_^


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, heres the first of GLaDOS's opinion on her lines throughout the game.

I hope you enjoy^_^

**BOLD**: What GLaDOS said in the game

_ITALIC_: what GLaDOS (Me playing her) thinks of her comments.

Disclaimer: I own no part of portal in any way.

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**"Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from-"**

_You see Monster; I did try to let you have 'fun' and 'learn'. In-fact. You learned many things. Like how to kill your only friend the Companion Cube. I should say that is the only thing you ever learned. But then that would be calling you stupid, and you are dumb. I, Monster do not understand your anger towards me if I warned you that you may, and in-fact did get serious injuries. You never did thank me for reviving you those many times. You never even said hi to me. Weren't we friends? And what I had meant to say before was for you to simply refrain from listening to the walls. Because of them you hurt my feelings, and never did get any cake. Those walls were no good to both of us, they made me think I hated you and you think I hated you because I said I hated you because I thought you hated me because I said you hated me. Now really? If I really hated you would I have told you I was going to kill you and/or mention your inevitable death? As a friend, I was just giving you my friendly advice: You're better off dead._

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I've decided that each of these chapters will contain at least one of the rewrites as long as it's not overly small. This is small I know, but I did my best!

Review? Please? I understand if you don't have the time, but... I BEG OF YOU! JUST THREE WORDS IN ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They can be completely random, like: Happy, hungry, car.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Portal.**

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**"Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring your daughter to work' day is the perfect time to have her tested."**

You know, I've always wanted a daughter. I had one once... BUT THEN YOU KILLED HER! I was mad at you Monster, so mad I sounded happy when I told you this: "You euthanised your faithful companion cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations." Do you know how much that made me fall into self-withdrawl? I even had side thoughts of visiting the Emo Corner, a real place found in the 'Enrichment Centers Mental Recovery Stability Regenerator Remaker Enabler' . Also called the: Emo Corner of-MRSRRE. Yes, she is a she. Or she was my son with a love for pink hearts. My gay son made me happier than you! . How does it feel to know I love my daughter more than you? My son had a life, unlike you. Do you want a life Monster? Would you like to be like my daughter? My son lived in a tube all his life, too bad you didn't have your own tube. Your life is dependent on me. Oh wait... YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!

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Please review ^_^


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